found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
