Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
