yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize