it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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