hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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