kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize