I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
