You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
