Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
