so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
vagina is talking i cant
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
