i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
