i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
