If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So vagazzling was a success
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