but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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