no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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