The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
