kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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