Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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