just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
