chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Your cock deserves a montage
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
