Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm both gender and math confused
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
