____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
