i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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