his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
