brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize