I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize