apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
