"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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