What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
