I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
