just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
