I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
