Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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