Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
