I'm going to jail i love you
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
