Do you still have your period?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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