I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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