I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wear drunk well.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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