i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
should my penis look like a turkey
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
