we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
