So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize