covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Congratulations! We have a period
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