You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
