She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
