hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
