i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My balls are so social today.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My feet surprised me
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
