is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
