the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
