he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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