This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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