You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
