I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
