Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
