So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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