Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
