But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
