If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
