I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
