My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
