Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
