You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
