kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
