How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
