next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
