I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
