The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
