youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
