Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
