South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize