What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
