Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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