dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
