She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
