I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
