the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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