I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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