Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
