i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You ruined the universe
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
