Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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