no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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