Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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